Dear Fan,
I want to apologize for leaving you so long. I truly do miss you and I know you truly miss me. I had to go away for a while due to the nature of appropriately bringing machete justice to the world. Understand, if the world was a just and true place, I would have been here writing much much more. My machete is now in a shop getting its handle replaced, a tiger-blood paint job, and sharpened by three small leprechauns. Normally, I would be back out administering justice, but little did I know, my machete was being sent to a Wisconsin union based shop. Due to the governor not being able understand his own state’s law and the democrats refusing to work or have spines, I am a little behind in getting back out to the world and chopping through the jungle. With the amazing force of power and control of the US warplanes and Navy that the UN now appently has, and the fact that we will be getting some sort of answer tonight of why we’re spending money on Libya and not:
- Iran
- Darfur
- Syria
- Yemen
- etc.
I have decided that instead of hanging out with Charlie Sheen and his hookers, I will start writing to you again, my lone faithful fan.
-xoxo
John
John